Your favorite punchlines

I'm a big fan of punchlines in hip hop, they can leave me in awe at how clever they can be or make me laugh at how ludicrous they are. Sometimes it's a combination of both. So I'm wondering what are you're favorite punchlines?

Some of mine are:

cold killer so ill, Im giving competition ulcers - shad K (I get down)
The slick, sharp tongue That would lacerate your arteries - Shad K (I get down)
I'm like stevie wonder I can't see a brother beating me - Lord finesse (Hip 2 da Game)
I'll Stick my d!ck in your ear and **** what you heard - Rakim (I'll Bus 'em you punish 'em)
I'm rarely seen, loch ness and bigfoot take pictures of me - Chino XL (live concert)

"I'm far from broke, got enough bread
And mad hoes, ask Beavis I get nuttin' Butt-head" ~ Big L

Lube wrote:"I'm far from broke, got enough bread
And mad hoes, ask Beavis I get nuttin' Butt-head" ~ Big L

What song is that? I listen to Big L alot but I don't recognize it.

That was fucking great, damn. I ain't ever heard that before..

Thanks, that was raw but know I remember I heard it before a while back. It's straight dope though!

"You got rats in ya family like a gerbil
you ever turn ya back on me, i gotta murk you
i'll hit you in the back like i was tryna burp you"

"Pinnacle definitely, hold so much jewels in my miracle memory
It's like I'm a physical treasury
Deep into weaponry, psychotic niggas who envy me
Wanna be nuts, so I bust nuts like my genitals sexually"

"jack son like michael, flip keys like alicia
pull mac's like bernie to get franklins like aretha"

"When drivers cut me off i wanna clap lead
some nigga was driving that new cadillac red
he cut me off then black fled
i pulled up on him with the screw face
that nigga dropped his fat head
cuz i screw drivers like phillip and flat head"

"my metaphors are somethin like menopause
cause all men-a-pause, rewind and listen more"

"left it on a tire, this kids a riot
and he lost my 4 pound, he cant deny it
this nigga made me lose more pounds than a fuckin diet"

All of the above lines are from Papoose.

"my metaphors are somethin like menopause
cause all men-a-pause, rewind and listen more"

^^Dope.

Bad for ya health with a raw flow
niggas can't mention rap in my presence unless you you an elf in the north pole
you don't get that?
you so unprepared, snap back flow, adjust to me being over ya head- Los

Every passage is acid so I just laugh at them bastards
rock em to sleep my mobb is too deep, I be handing em havoc
click clack it in traffic and let the passengers have it
give you half of them clips like pusha-t with no malice- Papoose

This itch to shine is my own fault since I only break out in rhymes cause im allergic to my own thoughts- Passionate MC

My name is in the middle of equality- Talib

The presidents bush the vice-presidents a dick, so a whole lotta fucking is what we gon get- Talib

Faster than F-1 MCLAREN pistons
Fast enough to give your brain an aneurysm
Cuz you *****s is slower than fat bitches metabolism
The way I rip apart the competition when I be spittin
The name Canibus might as well be Cannibalism- Canibus

Off some diesel Hercules shyt, I cold flip
And start to punch trees til they leafless
Inhale with two real deep breaths, hold my breath
Til the whole planet suffocates and then release it - Canibus

spittin fire with gasoline as saliva-Canibus

Breakin in cribs with a crow-bar
I wasn't 'poor', I was po', I couldn't afford the 'o-r'- Big L

when i see ya car in traffic imma jack it like burlington- Cassidy

Just be easy buddy, relax
please don't have me bloody my axe
or revvin my chainsaw
to sever your brain off
with no concentration, im better than adolf- Joell Ortiz

I rhyme the tightest, shine the brightest
i blind the optic fibers in anybodys iris- Canibus

You get clapped bringin the wrong raps to combat
Like bringin a paint gun to a shoot out with real gats
Y'all niggas is wack, rappin over microphone feedback
My intelligence begins where yours peaks at- Canibus

a girl asked me for a ring
so i put one around her whole eye- Big L

Canibus has some dope ones.

"You're faker then blue eyed crackers nailed to a crucifix" - Immortal Technique

Another one;

"You couldnt spark a rhyme even if your ink was gasoline" - DMX.

I'll show you more blind rage than Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles wrestling in a steel cage- Chino XL

I could sell salt to a slug- Cassidy

Every verse you get pissed on like pregnancy tests- Cassidy

They say they out for dead presidents, never respected
First of all, Ben Franklin was never elected
That means him and Big Bills have never connected
They just say it cause they think it sounds clever on records- Fabolous

If I was focused I could crush you
cause you saying your focused, then how come i cold still touch you?- Canibus

i'll have you bought no matter you cost
run in ya bathroom and blast you off
you couldn't stop the lead showers with a gat-proof cloth
the mafia be thinking Blacks too soft
thats why im quick to catch em eating spaghetti, make bleed Ragu sauce
better pocket the cash you floss cause i'll put the infrared to ya nose, and have niggaz calling you Rudolph- Papoose

Street philosophy, I was the first nigga to speak it logically
keep a policy, bring it out of me, streets of poverty
Ill turn you to a vegetable and eat ya broccoli for mocking me- Papoose

This is spitboss holocaust, so you better acknowledge it
i heard the opportunity and followed it
till theres nothing to bother with, react like a halogen
make the microphone my bitch, when i spit the trick swallows it- Passionate MC

you can't see me, feel me, they should use my knuckles instead of braille- Royce

Battle Cry- Joell Ortiz(The whole song is punchline after punchline after punchline)

Father forgive Bis, I just snatched the Jesus piece off some Christians
cause they sounded like idiots, they went from Silver to Gold to Platinum
After the millennium they probably be wearing Iridium
they so gassed if a bitch sucked their dick they'd probably cum Helium- Canibus

"Even if they full court press me i get my point across" LOS-(Run this town freestyle)

"Fuck money, I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead. It's never been said but I said precedents." ~Eminem

"Ayyo, betta flee Hobbes, or get your head flown three blocks
L keep rapper's hearts pumpin like Reeboks
And every year I gain clout and my name sprouts
Some brothers'd still be vergins if the crack never came out
I got the wild style, always been a foul child
My guns go boom-boom, and yo' guns go wow-pow" Big L- Put it on

More like a favorite verse, but...


"Throw me the mic
I got a flow tah recite
You got a baby by a nigga that you don't even like
A broke nigga who thuggish
Always be talkin rubbish
Steady be causing ruckus
All because you were sluttish
Jesus, I can't believe this freak shit
That's the same motherfucker that you had cheated on me with
I knew this would happen without a question
But you said "I never have sex without protection"
Bitch please
You left me floatin down shits creek
You sex driven like a big freak
Plus our relationship has been breached
You took a big leap
And rumor has it you sucked his dick and kissed me!
And now I'm suppose to be the father and the mental guide
Like sure I'll take care of the little guy
Shit, you ain't puttin' me through the stress
I'll put your baby in a pillow case and beat it tah death!"

- Hopsin "Baby's Daddy"

J. Cole - The Autograph

"Shoutout to the Bootleggers supplying my shit,

The fans online tryna' find my shit,

And to the niggas listening but won't buy my shit,

They see me in the streets wanna ride my dick,

Ya'll niggas is the worst like:

"See me, J. Cole homie can you sign my burnt CD?"

Nigga Please an album 10 dollars yall act like its 10 G's!"

"Ridin shotgun with Chris Martin my DJ, not the white boy but I'm down for the cold play" - Royce 59!

You aint a leader what, nobody followed you, you were never shit your moms shoulda swallowed you - Big L

Me being a virgin, that's idiotic, if Big L got AIDS then every cutie in the city got it.

Cause I'm money getter, also a honey hitter, you think you nice as me? Haha you a funny nigga. - Big L

Big L, the king of punchlines imo. He had a lot of good ones.

Hell yea, he's G.O.A.T in my books

Lube wrote:Big L, the king of punchlines imo. He had a lot of good ones.

I think L is the king of one-liner punchlines.

there are many other rappers with more complex and intricate punchlines.