One of my first songs, looking for critique

Hey guys. So I'm pretty new to this but I recently developed an interest in rapping. I wrote this song after going through some shit with a girl I was recently involved with.
If you wouldn't mind, I would like you to listen to the whole thing and give me an honest critique. Try to excuse my bad singing with the hook. Any feedback is appreciated, thanks!

http://soundcloud.com/gregdesciscio/beautiful/s-hllX4

I'm feelin this already! The quality is iffy! it pops every now and then.. not a problem to hear lyrics except the first few bars. Flow was off at a few points.. this is good work for one of your first songs though! No doubt.. I'm feelin this though DEFINITELY! :) Me like myself, haven't been recording long.. i'm still developing the swag on the mic.. but it comes to all that have the passion!

If you have a few minutes of your time! Would you Peep a track of mine I just put out.. It's a collab with my brother. I'd just like some honest feedback! Not asking for views at all! I want to better myself as an artist.. and I need some advice if any! But if not, then it's still cool! Keep up the Good work bro!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV7J3gUl63g

Thanks man. Yeah I recorded it on some shitty mic. I plan on doing a re-recording now that I've become a little familiar with mixing and mastering in FL Studio.

I gave your track a listen, sounds pretty good. Not a huge fan of Bruno Mars but you ride the beat pretty nice so it works. Keep up the good work!

FL really isn't the program for recording.. it can be if you know it! But if you google Cool Edit Pro, Mixcraft, umm, or mixiing programs.. you can find a cracked program of one of those proper software editions. They're a lot simpler and easier to work with than FL. But thanks for your ears bro! Good Look :)

Well I use Audacity for recording, but I bring everything into FL for all the touch-up work. And no problem, if you need a second opinion on any of your other shit you know where to find me.

swag swag.. I fucks with it. and Preciate that my dude! You got any questions, same goes for me! Hmu.. I'll be uploading actual videos.. and Original songs Asap! Workingon them now!

damn that was actually pretty good! For one of your first tracks, i can vibe with it. I'm liking the verses, the hooks are alright but could use some work.

i like where you went with your lyrics. bravo
I agree with tredope though, try cool edit its a good program.

its hard to find a download for cool edit. i have it and use it but forgot how i got it. but if you can find a way to get it i recommend it. Best program out there to be honest.

Thanks bishop, i appreciate the feedback. And yeah, cool edit is now Adobe Audition. It seems all older versions of the program are discontinued and no longer supported

Try piratebay lool
i know a friend that got it there

Thanks, I'll play around with it and see how I like it

its good dude just gota deliver your you lyric's witha bit of Swag blend the vocals and music together your voice is over powering to tha beat