Dear Event (Former member)

"Dear Event,

A mutual friend of mine and one day your benefactor, just wanted to see how you were doing. You may not know this person or at least any longer, but they wanted me to check up on you and see how you were doing. He wanted to know are you still with J, the brown haired girl? I saw you met Slug. He's glad that happened for you. What's up with Bernie Sanders, you supporting him if he runs again? How are your siblings? Did you finally get your hair sorted? Anyhow, those are just a few of the questions this person wanted answered. Thank you for taking your time to read this."