How to properly take a shit in a public bathroom

Step 1: Inspect stalls to locate the best possible location.

You should look to make sure there is an adequate amount of toilet paper and that there are no visible bodily fluids.

Step 2: Create the "Poop Parachute".

Now, we all know that the worst thing in this world is when your poop hits the water and causes a tsunami on your butthole and balls.

The best way to prevent this is by creating a Poop Parachute out of toilet paper. Simply take a large section of toilet paper and drop it in the toilet. Make sure it is folded a few times to prevent splashing and that it covers the entire surface area of the water.

Step 3: Protect your ass cheeks from AIDS

Never use the provided pre-cut toilet seat protectors. They are never shaped right and they stick to your ass. What you need to do is line the seat with strips of toilet paper. I use 3 strips for each side.

Step 4: Poop some shit, or shit some poop!

At this point you are free to shit to your hearts content. No longer will you have to shit in fear of getting butt cheek aids or asshole tsunamis.


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This is strangely helpful

LiquidDookie87 wrote:This is strangely helpful

I have a friend at work that is afraid to shit in public bathrooms. He'll take a 15 minute break and drive home just to take a shit. So I created this for him and now he will shit in public bathrooms lmao.

funny thing is, i've done this. but only once as it was the first and last time i was to ever use another fucking public bathroom lol.

Poop parachute....Genius! You should sell like 8x8 TP Squares that dispense from a Kleenex type box...That'd be a good invention, you could imprint your name on em and everything...I'd buy a box

GangusKahn wrote:Poop parachute....Genius! You should sell like 8x8 TP Squares that dispense from a Kleenex type box...That'd be a good invention, you could imprint your name on em and everything...I'd buy a box

lmfao. make a quick million with that for real.

410MaXiMuS wrote:

GangusKahn wrote:Poop parachute....Genius! You should sell like 8x8 TP Squares that dispense from a Kleenex type box...That'd be a good invention, you could imprint your name on em and everything...I'd buy a box

lmfao. make a quick million with that for real.

Eminem had urinal pad things....


SKIP TO 2:40 of this video

https://www.youtube.com/user/NardwuarServiette#p/u/20/JcHxiWwubnk

GangusKahn wrote:

410MaXiMuS wrote:

GangusKahn wrote:Poop parachute....Genius! You should sell like 8x8 TP Squares that dispense from a Kleenex type box...That'd be a good invention, you could imprint your name on em and everything...I'd buy a box

lmfao. make a quick million with that for real.

Eminem had urinal pad things....


SKIP TO 2:40 of this video

https://www.youtube.com/user/NardwuarServiette#p/u/20/JcHxiWwubnk

he sniffed it lmao

You gotta check out that Nardwuar guy tho...he does some sick interviews...He's by far the best interviewer ever...He' got Nas, Jay Z on there....All the way back to Nirvana in 1994...its dope...The guys HELLA smart when it comes to music

As someone who has yet to take a shit in a public bathroom this will be very informative and helpful if the time ever comes

ThatGuy wrote:As someone who has yet to take a shit in a public bathroom this will be very informative and helpful if the time ever comes

I'm glad I could be of service.