Funny / Crazy TRUE stories

Tell us TRUE, PERSONAL stories. I don't wanna hear about a story you heard from someone else. Personal experiences only!

I just remembered this time a black dude was sitting on a bench in Towson and it looked like he was sitting on some dog shit... so we were like "hey man, are you sitting in shit?"

Turns out he had a hole in his sweatpants and he was sitting on his exposed nutsack.

41OMaXiMuS wrote:I just remembered this time a black dude was sitting on a bench in Towson and it looked like he was sitting on some dog shit... so we were like "hey man, are you sitting in shit?"

Turns out he had a hole in his sweatpants and he was sitting on his exposed nutsack.

Think you forgot the 'crazy' part.


btw here's one of mine:

- In the summer vication
- I was with my family + a friend with his family in Belgium
- Was 13-15 years old
- Some english kids (5-10 years, 3 kids, boys) shot me & my friend with splatter guns and the parents didn't care
- They continued doing that for 2-3 days
- Finally I had enough I took a empty bottle and hit one of them I think he was 8 or something in the head, not hard but not soft either
- His dad came (big motherfucker, really typical english football hooligan) he nearly killed me
- my mom cannot speak english so we stood there "he do not speak englis" said my mom and I was like "NOOT speak english".
The servants came and tried to get the dad back but after 20 minutes we got in our room safe.
They never shot at me or any of us again but I damn niether did hit any of the kids again. Nearly crapped my pants.

Chokey wrote:

41OMaXiMuS wrote:I just remembered this time a black dude was sitting on a bench in Towson and it looked like he was sitting on some dog shit... so we were like "hey man, are you sitting in shit?"

Turns out he had a hole in his sweatpants and he was sitting on his exposed nutsack.

Think you forgot the 'crazy' part.


btw here's one of mine:

- In the summer vication
- I was with my family + a friend with his family in Belgium
- Was 13-15 years old
- Some english kids (5-10 years, 3 kids, boys) shot me & my friend with splatter guns and the parents didn't care
- They continued doing that for 2-3 days
- Finally I had enough I took a empty bottle and hit one of them I think he was 8 or something in the head, not hard but not soft either
- His dad came (big motherfucker, really typical english football hooligan) he nearly killed me
- my mom cannot speak english so we stood there "he do not speak englis" said my mom and I was like "NOOT speak english".
The servants came and tried to get the dad back but after 20 minutes we got in our room safe.
They never shot at me or any of us again but I damn niether did hit any of the kids again. Nearly crapped my pants.

Why have you reverted back to acting like a faggot lately? You have some WANNA-BE smart ass remark to everything I say. Starting to get annoying. Just because you stare at guys nutsacks all the time doesn't mean it's a daily occurance in other peoples lives.

41OMaXiMuS wrote:

Chokey wrote:

41OMaXiMuS wrote:I just remembered this time a black dude was sitting on a bench in Towson and it looked like he was sitting on some dog shit... so we were like "hey man, are you sitting in shit?"

Turns out he had a hole in his sweatpants and he was sitting on his exposed nutsack.

Think you forgot the 'crazy' part.


btw here's one of mine:

- In the summer vication
- I was with my family + a friend with his family in Belgium
- Was 13-15 years old
- Some english kids (5-10 years, 3 kids, boys) shot me & my friend with splatter guns and the parents didn't care
- They continued doing that for 2-3 days
- Finally I had enough I took a empty bottle and hit one of them I think he was 8 or something in the head, not hard but not soft either
- His dad came (big motherfucker, really typical english football hooligan) he nearly killed me
- my mom cannot speak english so we stood there "he do not speak englis" said my mom and I was like "NOOT speak english".
The servants came and tried to get the dad back but after 20 minutes we got in our room safe.
They never shot at me or any of us again but I damn niether did hit any of the kids again. Nearly crapped my pants.

Why have you reverted back to acting like a faggot lately? You have some WANNA-BE smart ass remark to everything I say. Starting to get annoying. Just because you stare at guys nutsacks all the time doesn't mean it's a daily occurance in other peoples lives.

I have a tough time in my life right now! My mom is ill, school is hard, my best friend just fought and I got no money....
lol. No seriously where am I acting like an asshole? Just said you missed some crazy shit? Did I really offend you?

^

Chokey wrote:

41OMaXiMuS wrote:

Chokey wrote:

41OMaXiMuS wrote:I just remembered this time a black dude was sitting on a bench in Towson and it looked like he was sitting on some dog shit... so we were like "hey man, are you sitting in shit?"

Turns out he had a hole in his sweatpants and he was sitting on his exposed nutsack.

Think you forgot the 'crazy' part.


btw here's one of mine:

- In the summer vication
- I was with my family + a friend with his family in Belgium
- Was 13-15 years old
- Some english kids (5-10 years, 3 kids, boys) shot me & my friend with splatter guns and the parents didn't care
- They continued doing that for 2-3 days
- Finally I had enough I took a empty bottle and hit one of them I think he was 8 or something in the head, not hard but not soft either
- His dad came (big motherfucker, really typical english football hooligan) he nearly killed me
- my mom cannot speak english so we stood there "he do not speak englis" said my mom and I was like "NOOT speak english".
The servants came and tried to get the dad back but after 20 minutes we got in our room safe.
They never shot at me or any of us again but I damn niether did hit any of the kids again. Nearly crapped my pants.

Why have you reverted back to acting like a faggot lately? You have some WANNA-BE smart ass remark to everything I say. Starting to get annoying. Just because you stare at guys nutsacks all the time doesn't mean it's a daily occurance in other peoples lives.

I have a tough time in my life right now! My mom is ill, school is hard, my best friend just fought and I got no money....
lol. No seriously where am I acting like an asshole? Just said you missed some crazy shit? Did I really offend you?

The last 3 or so times you have responded to me, you have TRIED to talk down to me.... as if you think you are more intelligent or something, I dunno. And yes, it's annoying as fuck... because you are weird and I don't know why you feel the need to act like a cool guy online.

I was fapping with muscle relaxer cream back in 7th grade in my friends bathroom...Didn't think anyone would know...Then it started to burn really fucking bad, and I was crying cause I though my dick was gonna fall off...So I spent like an hour splashing cold water on my junk trying to cool the pain...Finally came out and his mom and him were standing there looking at me all weird...Walked home and stayed in my room for about a week.

GangusKahn wrote:I was fapping with muscle relaxer cream back in 7th grade in my friends bathroom...Didn't think anyone would know...Then it started to burn really fucking bad, and I was crying cause I though my dick was gonna fall off...So I spent like an hour splashing cold water on my junk trying to cool the pain...Finally came out and his mom and him were standing there looking at me all weird...Walked home and stayed in my room for about a week.

Cnt tll if srs or trlling... lol

41OMaXiMuS wrote:

GangusKahn wrote:I was fapping with muscle relaxer cream back in 7th grade in my friends bathroom...Didn't think anyone would know...Then it started to burn really fucking bad, and I was crying cause I though my dick was gonna fall off...So I spent like an hour splashing cold water on my junk trying to cool the pain...Finally came out and his mom and him were standing there looking at me all weird...Walked home and stayed in my room for about a week.

Cnt tll if srs or trlling... lol

Dead fucking serious

GangusKahn wrote:

41OMaXiMuS wrote:

GangusKahn wrote:I was fapping with muscle relaxer cream back in 7th grade in my friends bathroom...Didn't think anyone would know...Then it started to burn really fucking bad, and I was crying cause I though my dick was gonna fall off...So I spent like an hour splashing cold water on my junk trying to cool the pain...Finally came out and his mom and him were standing there looking at me all weird...Walked home and stayed in my room for about a week.

Cnt tll if srs or trlling... lol

Dead fucking serious

Fucking hilarious then.

- No Porn: It's fine to have/post about dirty stories - but no actual porn picture/videos. If you do indeed post anything of that nature, it will get deleted and you may face up to a 7 day ban or even a perma-ban depending on the amount of warnings you have gotten on this forum by the admin/mods. Do not link to porn either.

"therealfakehopsin = The Business = George = Hopsin = HopSimonSin = Funk Volume = hopsinishomo = Fat Guy from Sag My Pants video = Fat Guy from Hop Madness video"

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

41OMaXiMuS wrote:"therealfakehopsin = The Business = George = Hopsin = HopSimonSin = Funk Volume = hopsinishomo = Fat Guy from Sag My Pants video = Fat Guy from Hop Madness video"

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

LOL

GangusKahn wrote:I was fapping with muscle relaxer cream back in 7th grade in my friends bathroom...Didn't think anyone would know...Then it started to burn really fucking bad, and I was crying cause I though my dick was gonna fall off...So I spent like an hour splashing cold water on my junk trying to cool the pain...Finally came out and his mom and him were standing there looking at me all weird...Walked home and stayed in my room for about a week.

Goddaamn that shit is hilarious

was "drunk" once and asked my mums friend to bang me *facepalm to me*

STRANGEgenius wrote:was "drunk" once and asked my mums friend to bang me *facepalm to me*

For some reason I can't imagine you saying that to a grown woman...

On Saturday night we all went out...As usual....But I was just feeling really good for some reason.

So I asked the bartender how many shot glasses he had, told him to fill them all up with Kamikaze's...Spent like 200 bucks on shots, got everyone faded...Was hella fun. Then a big fight broke out right at like 2am...I instantly started recording it all...Then one of the dudes fighting knocked my phone out of my hand causing the battery to fall out...This somehow caused me to lose all of my footage..I have no idea how...Then some Asian called me a peckerwood all pissy like so I almost got into the fight....Just got messy hella messy...Sow we all dip right as the cops show up, go to Del Taco and buy like 50 bucks worth of tacos.

Woke up yesterday morning with a pretty fucked up hangover and an empty wallet.

Oh btw I have a video of me buying all those shots lol.

41OMaXiMuS wrote:

STRANGEgenius wrote:was "drunk" once and asked my mums friend to bang me *facepalm to me*

For some reason I can't imagine you saying that to a grown woman...

lol then dont...?

i know this isnt really the place but it is CRAAAZZY.

My grandma just emailed me that a publisher wants to publish her 3 books.

HOLY SHIT !!!

STRANGEgenius wrote:i know this isnt really the place but it is CRAAAZZY.

My grandma just emailed me that a publisher wants to publish her 3 books.

HOLY SHIT !!!

She hot?

MILFITY MILF, MILFITY MILF, THE MILF GOES INTO MY MILFITY BANK...

ChronicIntelligence wrote:

STRANGEgenius wrote:i know this isnt really the place but it is CRAAAZZY.

My grandma just emailed me that a publisher wants to publish her 3 books.

HOLY SHIT !!!

She hot?

MILFITY MILF, MILFITY MILF, THE MILF GOES INTO MY MILFITY BANK...

lol, too far?

OK...a bit yeah...well *laughs nervously*...

It was a joke...y'know...yeah...MAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTEEEEE

lmao i know, im fucking LOLING.